Don't shoot yourself with the second arrow.

Recently, a cat my daughter had lovingly raised was killed by a dog. It is an accident that happens occasionally in the High Desert, where many households keep both dogs and cats together. The cat, which had always stayed indoors, happened to wander outside that day — and that was what led to the tragedy. My daughter's grief is deep, and it is completely understandable. The pain of losing a beloved creature — that first arrow — is something no one can escape. Life is a succession of suffering, and pain comes crashing in like waves. But when that grief turns into resentment, self-blame, and endless regret, we end up shooting ourselves with a second arrow. Buddhism and the Gospel of Thomas offer ancient wisdom on how to deal with that second arrow.

The Buddhist parable of the second arrow carries the wisdom that while we cannot avoid the pain that comes from outside (the first arrow), we can control the psychological suffering (the second arrow) that arises as our reaction to it.

The most well-known verse in the Gospel of Thomas that also resonates with the teaching of the second arrow is saying 42:

"Be passerby."

This brief sentence means that we should not let our minds dwell on or cling to the storms and events of the world. When the first arrow strikes, we tend to linger in that pain — resenting why such a thing happened to us, or growing anxious about the future. But if we adopt the attitude of a passerby, we can view whatever has occurred as scenery that simply drifts past us, and thus avoid shooting ourselves with the second arrow of psychological suffering.

Saying 70 of the Gospel of Thomas locates both the cause of and the solution to psychological pain in an inner strength:

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you have will save you. If you do not have that within you, what you do not have within you (will) kill you."

What is "within you" here refers to the wisdom or awareness that sees through to the true nature of things. If we maintain our inner center in any circumstance, external trials cannot break us — but without inner awakening, the torment and delusion born of the first arrow (the second arrow) will ultimately lead us to ruin. This is the warning the verse carries.

Saying 113 of the Gospel of Thomas tells us that the Kingdom of God is not somewhere far away, but right here and now, and within us:

"...the Father's kingdom is spread out upon the earth, and people don't see it."

This, too, emphasizes a shift in perception. The reason we are struck by the second arrow is that we cannot see reality as it truly is — we distort it through our own biases and fears. If we open our inner eye and discover the peace of this present moment, we can maintain a state of mind that remains untouched by the second arrow even amid external pain — and in this, the teaching aligns with that of Buddhism.